If you’re like me (and sometimes even the smoothest of networkers in the DMV), you’ve at least experienced some anxiety when around people. Being socially anxious now and then is perfectly natural and even adaptive.

Social anxiety is too much when it’s characterized by a strong fear of being judged or embarrassed in various everyday social situations and avoidance of social situations or serious distress during them. Men with social anxiety often avoid parties, meeting people in IRL rather than online gaming like twitch, dating, and/or talking to authority figures.

Social anxiety is quite common and affects about 1 in 15 guys. Social anxiety can affect us at any point throughout our lives, but is most common for adults between the ages of 18-29 years old.

In an area like Washington, DC that runs on connections, ambition, and appearances, socially anxious thoughts can start to wear you down—hurting your confidence, your work, and your ability to just be yourself around others.

“I freeze up every time I meet new people—whether it’s at a networking event or grabbing drinks with friends—I never know what to say and end up feeling awkward and boring.”

“I showed up to a happy hour in a tie and immediately regretted it—everyone else looked the same, and I felt like I didn’t fit into the DC scene.”

I treat social anxiety by using exposure therapy, which has the most research support. I will work with you to gradually and systematically confront feared social situations. Exposure therapy will also show you that feared consequences are unlikely to come true and that anxiety naturally decreases. I’ll also teach you what causes and maintains social anxiety, and work with you to reframe unhelpful thoughts.

Many men have been socially conditioned to not ask for help or have been told that they are “weak” if they can’t sort out challenges on their own. Seeking therapy is similar to going to the doctor for a broken bone or to a dentist for a filling. Seeking expert services to help us live well is simply the logical thing to do.

You don’t have to commit to therapy for the rest of your life. Instead, think of it as a short-term (e.g., 3-12 months) investment to address long-term habits and behaviours. The length of therapy depends on how entrenched the issues are that you’re dealing with, as well as how much work you are able to put into addressing them. Don’t shy away from the hard work of therapy – your life will change for the better and your future self will thank you for it.

I have extensive experience working with men in their twenties and thirties with anxiety disorder. I’ve received years of training and supervision from experts in generalized anxiety disorders in Arlington, Virginia and the DC-area as well as nationally.